A WEAKNESS CALLED LOVE: MEMOIRS OF AN AFRICAN HOUSEMAID(AWCL)

Malam ( a term of respect accompanying an elder male persons name to denote respect or a person who is well versed in religious matters) Salisu (my father) was calling my mum. He was right outside our room. Hajiya (my mother) answered quickly, and hurriedly went out to see my father. He was already lying on a mat, he leans on his right hand to support his weight, while he ran the other hand on his bald head.

"I have to talk you about something important"

my father said.

" I have heard halimatu is here collecting girls. See to it that she takes Ladi along. She is ripe for marriage, but she has saved no money for marriage. What will happen if a suitable suitor come along and we have no money to marry her off. We are in a very disadvantageous situation. One has to think ahead in order to get things done the right way. I known I can buy a bed and leather rolls for the floor if we are lucky it is cemented, but that is as far as I can go. You and your daughter have to wake up and act like adults, be responsible for God sakes. Think about what I have just said.” 

My mother was quiet for a while, then she spoke “ I know Maigida( meaning husband), I’ve been worried sick about her, and I have been doing a lot of thinking. What if her failure to stay at working houses is not entirely her fault. What if she has been possessed. Think about it, she does not have a suitor at the moment and she is a beautiful girl. What if some evil spirit is in love with her and does not want her to get married? What if He wants her all to himself?

 Do you think I should talk to Malam Audu for an exorcism.’  

"You shall not do such thing". He interjected angrily, "what your daughter needs is anger management and some manners, perhaps if you stop cuddling her all the time she might have gotten a suitor already.  Nobody wants to marry a stubborn brat, I forbid you from calling Audu.” He spat

"You may go now" he said "and bring me my lunch" he ordered. 

Of course he will say that now. Trying to play the role of a man now. Exerting his power and control over me. He is always a father when it is convenient. Not when he is suppose to take responsibility. When I clothed them, he Said nothing, when I buy soap he keeps quiet, when he gave me only 1 bag of rice and 10 measures of millet after his harvest for the entire year, it was ok. Not caring where I will get the money for the rest of the ingredients and the groceries . But he is always eager to eat. He even complains when the food is not tasty.

Meanwhile He sold the rest of the harvest and married a very young bride. Now he is talking of responsibility. I will do what I must. The health of my daughter is my utmost priority. She thought. 

She quickly cautioned her way of thinking. Her husband may not be the best, but he is certainly not the worst. At least he does not interfere with the wages of his daughters for the house work they do, unlike some men around here. Men like malam Liti could not even wait until when the girl comes back home. Every month they send Halimatu to the girls working house to collect his daughters wages. He practically lived on his girls earnings. She feeds him and his three wives. When the poor girl was about to marry, there was no money for half of the house stuff. She was taken with a mattress and a handful of kitchen utensils. That too was only possible because her mother's relatives pooled their resources. She was the object of everyone's ridicule especially the grooms family. Till date they call her a wretched woman whenever there is a fight between them. It was shameful. My mother shook her head in disapproval. The girl had to live in shame. No! her husband was fair at least, she thought. 

But he was not being reasonable. Ladi is definitely sick she thought. She knew going to malam Audu will be defying her husband orders. But she could not care less. It had to be done. There was too much at stake. He will have to understand. She had no choice she thought. She only needs to devise a plan in such a way her husband will never learn of her defiance. She finally came up with a plan, tomorrow when her husband leaves for his farm, she shall go to Malam Audu with her complaints. She will quickly come home before he comes back. She smiled at her obvious smartness and in-depth intelligence.  

Halimatu came to my house the next day. She met my mother, they talked and it was decided Halimatu was to take me to town, to work as a housemaid once more. Everything was arranged. But she told my mother we had to wait for a few days, there were men who searched the vehicles looking for traffickers.

Town people are evil. They enjoy all the comforts of life yet they seek to deny us our means of livelihood. They try to get us out of our jobs, jobs we worked hard for.

Sometimes I wonder how people can be so cruel.  We were to be taken to town in a group of five each trip. So we can escape the eyes of the oppressors. Hajara, the other woman who also take girls for work to town had been arrested. She had to pay dearly before she was released. We had to be very careful else we will end up like her. It was said that not even the children were spared. Should we be caught we were going to be taken to prison to spend the rest of our lives or beaten to death. 

A story was made up for us in case we met those vile people. We were to tell them we were visiting our uncle in town. Sticking to the story is very important. 

I had agreed though bitterly to go to the city one more time. For what if I get Mudi and I do not have enough money for marriage. No I will not let that happen. I promised myself Mudi, I will not let anything get in our future together. 

Me, Shatu and Mariya made a pack. We were to come back before harvest no matter what. We made a promise to ourselves. It was to be upheld at all cost. 

Five of us namely Shatu, Larai, Mariya, Azeemah and I were to be taken on the journey together. Hadiza and 5 others had already been taken to the city. We were next. 

 The journey was to be taken in a week. I have one more week to woo my Mudi. I have to move fast, no more sly or coy advances. I will go heads on to get the man of my dreams.

Meanwhile Shatu was true to her words. She kept her promise. she made sure I was everywhere. Wherever he was going, we were there before him. Smiling and pretending something is funny. 

We did everything we could to get his attention, even it means humiliating myself, I did not care. Shatu introduced us. He always talked to Shatu. But he carefully chose to ignore me. 

We had memorized by heart every detail of his life, every bit of his schedule and every movement of his was imprinted in our brains. We were at the market, at the movies and even his house.

Clueless Hafsat always welcomed us with open heart. She had always been a genial host. Hospitality is her Weakness I thought. I was getting to know my cousin better, trying to uphold ties of kinship at least that was the story. The motive stayed between me and my dear Shatu. 

I had told Shatu I was going to tell him how I felt about him. But she stopped me and insisted that he must make the first move. I was to be a lady. To wait for him. According to her that was the only way he will respect me. But I was getting impatient. 

If people can suffocate their fellow human beings, Mudi would have been 6feet under by now.

My mum had went to Malam Audu without my dad's consent. Malam Audu had insisted I was not possessed. My mother was not ready to believe that, she was convinced I was possessed . Her friend  Baba Faty introduced her to a man. Who told her that I was almost posessed. But as I am a pious lady, the spirit had find it difficult to possess me. But he lays in wait for me, whenever I put my guard down, he will jump right into me. I had never thought myself religious, but who was I to argue with him. It has to be true. After all it is said he has the gift of foresight and can see beyond the present. I now consider myself religious. It is said piety lies within the heart. I am therefore pious at heart. 

Alas, my mother was convinced. Before her was a man who knows what he is doing she thought. He prepared charms, amulets and herbs for me for protection. Luck was on my side. He even gave me Love portion, to make men love me. His services were expensive. She had to sell all her dishes. But she insisted it was worth it. For what is money compared to health. 

I have been using my charm and Love portion religiously. Everyday, without fail. Especially when I know I will be seeing Mudi which is everyday. 

We were at the village games while I anxiously searched for Mudi with determination, but he was no where to be found. I tapped Shatu and whispered "he is not here" 

"He will probably be at the movies, we have to meet him there" she whispered back. 

Hajara who was standing beside me said" what are you girls talking about? " 

It was Shatu that answered 

"nothing, I think we are going to the movies tonight, the games are boring, Nothing new, no good news or juicy gossip" 

The movies normally started after the games.

Not all girls go to the movies, any girl with proper upbringing and morals dare not go to the movies. Mixing freely with men without caution is frowned at. The theatre is the haven of men. Almost all men go there to watch movies and chat. 

But I was no regular girl. I was a girl in relentless pursuit of Mudi. Sacrifices had to be made, rules had to bend and my will has to prevail. 

"You can't possibly be serious" hajara said

"Why not?"I asked

"You know why, Ladi. Goodgirls don't go there"

She replied.

" it's a lie, many good girls go there. I heard that most girls meet their future husbands there. All the good men are going to be there. Why will we miss out on such a great opportunity because of a stupid rumor. You are welcome to tag along if you wisen up" I said

"Are u sure" she said undecided.

Larai I called out. Larai was watching us with admiration. She came and I said

 "we are going to the movies. But I know you don't go there. Tell Hajara your reason" I cast her an intimidating look that says 'say the wrong words and I will make you regret it'

Larai was uneasy. She dare not say the real reason. "Umm umm is " she stammered

" I don't have all day" I said

" I sleep really early, I'm afraid if I go there I will sleep off." She finally said.

"Thank you" I said. 

I then looked at Hajara and said:

 " see, there is nothing to worry about. Nothing happens there. I know you also don't have a suitor. You dont have much time dear. You can't just wait for something to happen, or someone to do something. You have to get yourself out there. If after tonight you don't like it, don't go back again. I'm trying to help you here. No one will ever know you were there. Larai is the only person who knows we are going there. She won't tell, she knows better. Right Larai?"

She simply nodded.

"Ok, she says"

Personally I don't care if the whole village knows. I just wanted to put Hajara at ease. 

The theatre was my rightful place tonight. After whiling away time. We decided it was time to go. We made our way to the theater. 

The theatre consists of wooden benches lined in a row. A TV set and a DVD player stood in front of the benches. The theater was enclosed with pillars of woods and had an aluminum roofing. It was enclosed with a curtain. The curtain was made of sacks, tailored together. A man stood by the entrance and collected the movie fare. Everyone was to pay 10naira for a movie. The females sat in the front while the male sat behind. 

We sat in the front row, where no eye shall escape us. Shatu went out to buy us snacks while I sat there and waited for her. She was taking too long, I watched the doorway impatiently. Hajara had already met a guy. A tall lean guy towered over her. She giggled while he talks. She looked happy. I'm a genius I thought. 

Then I saw him walked in, his eyes met mine. He removed a chewing stick from his mouth, which he was chewing beautifully, then he did the unthinkable he smiled. 

That moment everything changed, my heart melts at his view for when he smiled, he was no longer beautiful, He was Devine.